March 25, 2015
For the Love of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts
Dear Beautiful Souls,
I found myself barefooted in the grass, hugging a tree last night. Exhausted, sick, depleted I felt desperate to feel connected to the universal healing energy of mother earth. I have been working non- stop for weeks and without much view of an ending, I wanted to give up. I spend a lot of my life now serving others as a healing medium. These are those moments when I feel like I just cannot give anymore. I understand though I was called from a higher place to share my gifts of light, and as they old saying goes, “where much is given, much is required.” So, even though my body is weak with illness, I will not give up and trust the words of wisdom God has inspired me to share. I need words of encouragement today, and I am sure you do to.
Giving up, what does that look like? To me that’s surrendering to a position that I quit. I stop having faith that the tasks at hand are overcoming my ability to keep moving forward, obvious definition right? There are many times I have felt this way in my life. I would fuss at God, cry, or maybe even throw an adult tantrum when things would not go my way. I would resist the lesson in the pain, I would not heed to the warnings that my intuition said I needed to do because I wanted to do it my way. Even though I know the grave consequences of not following inner truth, I too can still be stubborn.
This reminds me of a story recently that I still chuckle at. As stated in my previous blogs, I struggle with managing my weight and have a sugar problem. I have realized my love of sugar really kicks into high gear when my energy is particularly low and I need a quick boost to keep going through my day. One day, after hours of clients, I found myself searching for a treat at the local convenient store. Debating with myself and knowing the sugar hit was a coping mechanism, I walked in and out of two stores empty handed. Battling with myself, I began to drive. I often find myself talking to my Spirit Guides about my need for sugar. For those who do not know Spirit Guides or as some may call angels, are heavenly beings that I believe help us in our human experience. I have an intimate relationship with them and they have very distinct personalities. Spirit Guides assist me in doing my work as a medium, and interpret messages from heaven so to speak. I believe we all have a team of beings that assist us and are a source of intuitive guidance.
So, as a sat at a stop light, I had the great idea that I wanted Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I began negotiating with my guides if I could go and get some. I heard my guides clearly say, “It’s not in your best interest and you won’t get any today.” I had been asking them to help me with my addiction to sugar because I know how I feel when the crash comes and the harm it causes in my body. Unfortunately, the human side of me was not happy with that answer and I proceeded to enter the Krispy Kreme drive through anyway. I rationalized with myself, I would only have two doughnuts because that was reasonable and I deserved it after my hard day at work.
As I pulled up to the window to retrieve my reward, I was greeted by a smiling young man. As I grabbed money to pay, he stated, “ma’am, I apologize we are out of doughnuts, would you like something else instead?” I looked at him, and just shook my head and laughed. What are the chances that Krispy Kreme would be out of doughnuts? My spirit guides were right. I was not getting any today. They always know, and in some ways I felt relieved I was saved from a moment of doughnut insanity.
You would think I would have learned my lesson from this experience, especially when God essentially answered my prayers. I had been praying to be free from my sugar addiction and have a healthy body daily. I was reminded yet again, God will give us what we ask him for, even if we forget or change our mind. I was at peace with this concept, until Friday showed up. It was the end of a very stressful week and on my way home, I felt pretty empty and the urge came again for a quick pick me up. So, as you may have guessed it, Krispy Kreme began calling my name. This time, I decided to not illicit the feedback from my Spirit Guides. I pushed on the gas and went straight to the drive through. With my classic all or nothing attitude, I opted to buy an entire dozen of doughnuts. Yep, my rebellious nature won and I was HAVING THEM ALL!
How many times have you done that? Have you asked God for help with something and when he does provide the answer your rebel against it? This happens a lot to me when the answer does not come in the design or way I may have chosen. This is often because our human side or ego thinks it knows what is best for us. I can tell you when I went home and devoured those doughnuts I was so disappointed. Yes, the first one or two was tasty but by the 6th doughnut I was so sick and felt like a complete failure. I realized that he saved me from myself the first time because I asked him too. The second time I decided to ignore help and do it my way. He will always let us learn our way, because He loves us. He even knows, sometimes his hardheaded daughter may need to have a stomach ache to remember the big picture.
Quitting and succumbing to old patterns of behavior has consequences. When we quit we do not allow ourselves to grow, and develop into the perfected beings he has created us to be. I can assure you, that God will not let us fail, and he will present us with the same lesson over and over again until we pass the test with an A+. You may have noticed you have dated the same girl or guy over and over again with a different name or different set of clothes. You may struggle with the same addictions or shortcomings, thinking you have overcome them already and yet again they reveal themselves in a new way. That is the test. He gives us the same one with different circumstances until we have passed with flying colors. We determine the length of the lesson and how much pain we will endure based on our choices.
So, what I have learned is even if you want to quit, He will not let us anyway. We can attempt to avoid the lessons and avoid pain but the opportunity to overcome and be successful will present itself no matter what. He will find us, even in darkness, even in illness because he wants us to win. Life is about giving in to the sweet surrender of allowing failure or defeat to be our teacher. In the moments of weakness we can choose to quit and rebel against His love and ignore the intuitive voice that holds our truth and do it our way. We can also decide to listen and reflect upon previous experience moving to the next lesson. It is the difference of taking a bite out of the doughnut for comfort or choosing to address the need for the spiritual craving.
I am sick today, because yet again I have not taken care of my body. No, I did not indulge this time in sweets; instead I did not exercise good self-care in other ways. Same lesson, different set of circumstances, did not pass the test again. But, this time instead of opting to find love from a doughnut I found it in a tree and am calling in the powers of God help me not quit. Progress I think.
Amy Brock , Spiritual Intuitive